21 Questions to Ask your Spouse

Just because you are married does not mean that you should stop learning things about your spouse. These questions will help start a conversation with your husband, and keep the spark of learning alive.

Something that is important to keep working on through out the whole marriage is communication. Asking questions can help you connect or even reconnect with your husband on a deeper level. I have been married to Bryton for 4 years, we are expecting our third baby girl. But I still make it a priority to have big, deep, and engaing conversations with him.

I continue to learn about him and myself by doing this. It has also helped us learn how to communicate with each other in a healthy and productive ways. We were raised very different and have had very different experiences in life before we found each other. But communication and asking questions has been the bridge that we use to understand each other better.

So often in marriage, the conversation is focused on:

  • How was work today?

  • How were the kids?

  • Do we have plans this weekend?

  • What are we having for dinner?

  • What did you do today?

Or even worse… you didn’t know what to talk about so you both said nothing. It is so easy for life to come in and take over. Maintaining a curious mind about your spouse and a burning to keep your relationship alive is so important. Asking questions helps maintain that.

Don’t get into a fight if your spouse doesn’t answer the questions the way that you want him to. That is not the point of asking your husband questions. You want to dive deeper into them not get mad because they do not think the same as you.

Put your phone down!!!! Nothing is more of a communication mood killer than the dang phone. We let it interfere with almost every aspect of our life. Give your husband your undivided attention and ask him to do the same.

Now let’s get into it!


21 Questions

1: What are your goals for the next 5 years?

2: What is your biggest fear?

3: What is something that you’re proud of?

4: What is your greatest passion?

5: What does your dream day in retirement look like?

6: What is your happiest childhood memory?

7: What is your favorite childhood tradition?

8: What is your dream vacation?

9: If you could live anywhere, where would it be?

10: When are you the happiest?

11: What are two things I can do to make you feel more loved?

12: What has been your favorite memory of our time together?

13: What do you love most about me?

14: What stresses you out the most?

15: What would you say is your biggest strength?

16: If you had to drink one beverage for the rest of your life, what would it be?

17: Describe yourself in 3 words?

18 Describe me in 3 words?

19: Favorite fair food?

20: Is there anything that I do that hurts you?

21: Do you feel like there is an area in our marriage where God is missing?

Having questions for your spouse can help spark new and engaging conversation. Communication is key in a healthy and strong relationship. Keeping open and interesting discussions in your marriage will benefit you both remain close. You may even learn new things about your husband and create more life goals together.

I LOVE to talk (surprise) and by asking Bryton questions it gives me an excuse to talk. Bryton also loves to talk, so we both love to just randomly ask each other questions. Sometimes we don’t agree on an answer the other gives (it is rare, but it happens) and it will devleop into a disagreement. But we always try to make sure it does not expand into a fight, discussing and debating is not fighting.

Listen to their answers. It will help to expand how you think and understanding what they think and why. You do not have to have such serious questions, asking silly questions is just important. It may even lead to some laughter!

What is your favorite thing to talk to your spouse about?

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