8 Ways To have Patience with your Kids
As a mom, having patience is crucial. Kids melt down, have behaviors, and need a lot of attention. Which is normal, but doesn’t mean it isn’t any-less over stimulating as a parent.
But as a parent you of course want to be the best you can and also be the most patient momma. Having kids can be trying, don’t get me wrong it’s the BEST and sometimes the worst.. so keeping as much patience during the bad days is handy dandy.
Now it’s so much easier to say oh I want to be a super patient mom and then actually having the skills is harder. Kids are blessings and the best challenges ever.
They push you to expand your thoughts, your patience, how you see things, and how you react. So having tools in your toolbox to help you maintain your emotions and patience is amazing.
Here are the tools I put in my toolbox to help me be the patient Mom I want to be for my little ones.
Make Room for Connection:
Having time carved out that is there for just you and your kids is so important. They may be having behaviors, or are really clingy because they are striving to get your attention. Kids do need you and it seems like they want you ALL the time. But if you do make sure you show them that they are a priority and you have space for them.
Making room in your busy schedule will never be a negative thing for you or your kiddos. They are only little once, and spending some time of your time every day for one on one connection will be worth it.
Knowing what your kiddo likes to do will help you think of ideas to spend some quality time with your baby. Reading is my go to, when my kids need sometime with me I love to just sit down and read. Here is the link to a list of 50 of our favorite books to read.
2. Time for You:
You can not give to others if you do not give to yourself. Momma do not feel bad about filling your bucket before you start pouring into others. There is nothing to feel guilty about when you give yourself time and some self love.
Making sure that you spend some time just for yourself so that you have patience to give. If you do not have patience with yourself how can you be a great example to your kiddos. It is good for you kids to see Mom has patience with herself, and people around her.
Finding ways that you relax and can refuel yourself is crucial to being a patient Momma. It took me a while to find things that I can do through out the day to refill my bucket. Because your time is not your own anymore, but there is simple things we can find.
A way that I find time for myself is after the kids go to bed, I read a book, do a puzzle, or some sort of art project. It is a nice and calming activity that I look forward to and think about when things are chaotic.
3. Know your Stressors:
Oh boy, kids can be challenging, and being aware of the things that will over stimulate you is important. Then you can know that things are not bad, you’re just a person, and somethings may send you over the edge more than others.
For me, a ton of kids screaming overstimulates me (not infants for some reason, but screaming from 18 months on just overrides my brain). Of course, now screaming is a part of parenting. Kids yell and throw fits. It is not wrong, it is how they express things and how they show their feelings.
Knowing that this is not wrong and it will be okay. I remind myself that I am just overstimulated and need break is all. For some reason, knowing that something stresses you out can help you find coping skills for those situations.
When you know what will send you over the edge, then you can create a list of ways to calm down in the moment. It helps you identify those coping skills to help you stay a patient mom.
4. Take a Break:
As Moms we often convince ourselves that we do not need or deserve breaks. How that is the farthest thing from the truth. When you are a mom you are on call 24/7 and its often overlooked. When you start to feel your patience wane away take a deep breath and take a break.
When my 3 year old is having a hard time regulating her feelings we take a break in her room until she feels a bit better. Why should it be any different? If you are overwhelmed or having a hard time regulating taking a break is a great way to reset.
It does not need to be some long time, maybe just 3 minutes of a break can help restore some of the patience we need to raise our sweet kiddos!
5. Have a Reset Routine:
Ever since we got a reset routine it has changed our lives so drastically. Basically if we had a bad morning/ afternoon we do something to reset. Those events do not need to define our entire day.
Having a bad morning does not mean you had a bad day. Our reset routine is getting Starbucks, if we are having a tough go of it we go get a drink and some pup cups and then try again. By doing this we reset our feelings and then we just start again.
It has changed so much of how I see parenting. Yes things can be stressful but we can just reset it, go back to square one, and start again. I love it. It has helped me salvage so many days. It wasn’t a bad day just a tough moment and we reset and kept going!
6. Change Locations:
Maybe if you are at home, go to the park. Run to the grocery store. Changing your scenery is a great way to change the pace and help maybe calm you and your kiddos down. Being cooped up is no good for anyone.
Cabin fever is a real thing, and my kids definitely get it. And you don’t even have to leave your house to change locations. If you are having a lot of fits in the living room try moving to the kitchen and making some cookies.
If you guys are melting a lot in the kitchen, try playing outside instead. Changing your location can help both you and your kids reset your patience for the day. And maybe even will change how the theme of the day is going.
7. Remember the Season:
So this one can double as the weather season and also the season of life. We have some more meltdowns in the winter than any other season, I am sure that it is because we do not play outside as much. Colorado winters get cold! And I get an influx of cases at work so I have to work a tad bit more.
In winter, I just prepare myself that we may need more resets, and that we will be having some extra big feeling because we are not getting a ton of vitamin D or playing outside and getting energy out.
Also, remember that this is just a season of life. Your kids will not throw fits forever, they will not make these messes all the time. They do grow up, and this is just a passing season.
The phrase the days are long but the years are short is SO SO real. I try to embrace that while my kids need my attention ALL the time, and definitely throw some fits. This will pass and I know I will miss them being so little. I will miss the mess and miss the sound of their little feet scampering around and being as busy as can be.
8. Journal, Write down good memories:
It can be so fulfilling and relaxing to write down the things that do go well with your kiddos. It is easy to get caught up in the negative, especially if the negative is really loud (literally, fits are not quiet). But when we take the time to see the good, we will be able to see the good more.
Seeing the good in parenting will help us through the bad parts of parenting. I love sitting down at the end of the day and just putting down our day one paper and then looking back on it a year later helps me notice that oh boy that was a fun season.
For some reason focusing on the good really refuels my patience bucket. Just try it. I promise you will not regret writing down the good memories and filling your bucket.
Conclusion:
Patience is crucial with parenting, but hard to sometimes come by. Putting tools in your tool box so that you can be a more patient parent is so important. Learning and tryin different ways to get and keep patience isn’t hard. BUT it does require practice and trial and error.
If you have a bad day do not fret. Go to bed, reset and try again. We have been blessed with more days than just one. We can just start again in the morning and try to be the best you can be. Kids are forgiving and just love you.
So don’t worry, if you have a bad day with little to no patience but try the next day you will get better. It may be hard to see in the moment, but in a couple months you will be able to look back and say “Hey! I tried to gain patience and a reset routine and I did it”
You totally got this Momma!!! Keep your head up, you’re doing amazing.