May Week 4: Serenity

The definition of serenity is feeling of peace of mind, inner contentment.

This is the lens I wanted to look through this week. I thought about doing the word peace but it did not truly embody what I was thinking of. My mind is normally running 100 miles an hour, but I want more of a serene and calm mind.

Monday:

Today was a good day to try to bring serenity into my life. I lost a library like immediately when I got home. From bringing it from the car to the house this book disappeared. I was pretty upset, I was really looking forward to this book and I don’t own it I needed to give it back at some point. But what a perfect scenario to work on keeping a serene state of mind while is some sort of crisis. As the day wore on Lyra had a slight fever due to teething she snuggled so much and I soaked that up. With every task I did today I tried to find serenity while I thought this would be easy I struggled. I found myself not having a bad day but not a day full of serenity.

Tuesday:

Today my mind was just all over the place. I had so much to think about, since deciding to start a blog I’ve actually done less activities with the girls. When I thought about that I was saddened. I was hoping if anything that this would help me to spend more time with the girls trying different activities to put on the blog. The reason I wanted to start a mom blog was to share ideas and experiences but here I was slowing down. I wanted to make a routine for the girls that includes a learning activity everyday, but I wasn’t doing as many activities anymore.

This brought a lot of uncertainty, that I was a good mom, but then I remembered to look through this week with serenity. Doubting myself is not serene. I know my girls are loved while I’ve done not as many “activities” I still played and read with them everyday. They were still my main priority. When I picked serenity this week I thought it would be so simple but I have found it hasn’t been so simple.

I have nothing big going on this week, so it should be serene right? False. I have been alert. For what? Literally nothing. When I was caught up in negative thoughts I tried to just take a deep breath and enjoy whatever moment I was in. I would try to find the smallest feeling of peace and by the end of that exercise I did find myself with more serenity.

Wednesday:

Last night Lyra got up 4x. Surprisingly it was the most serene I have felt all week. You would think getting up in the middle of the night would not bring peace but I found so much serenity nursing and rocking Lyra last night. I felt so content to sit with her all night. I love that I got the opportunity to bond and cuddle with my sweet baby.

Bryton had been having some pain in his rib since Monday, the jail where he worked was doing some Ju Jitsu training and he figured he was just bruise so he was trying to push through the pain. Well it got bad enough he went to workmen’s comp to see what was going on. Turns out he has a broken rib! That added a interesting turn into our week.

Both girls were very clingy. Lucy had a very stuffy nose, so I let her have more screen time than usual. Lyra has been trying so hard to walk, I walked behind her while she used a push walker. It was not a bad day, but not one I would call serene. But looking back on it I can see the simple serenity in our life. I know the Lord sends me tests so that I can become stronger in my faith. I am so grateful for the opportunities that the Lord puts into my path.

Everything is according to his plan and his is way better than mine.

Thursday:

Today I rocked Lyra and watched Lucy play in the sprinklers. This was a serene morning, simple and full of joy. Later that day Bryton rocked Lucy to sleep which almost never happens anymore. Why they rocked and Bryton watched a movie I took Bear and Lyra for a really nice walk. It was all in all a uneventful day and I loved it.

Those small and simple moments as a mom are my favorite. Watching Lucy play in the yard, taking the baby on a walk, or seeing my sweet husband being just the best dad despite having a broken bone. It was truly wonderful. I am so thankful for them.

Friday:

Today was a good day, I was beginning to feel frustrated and worried I was unable to feel at peace. I realized I just needed to take a deep breath and remember I can not micro manage my feelings, nor do I need to.

After working through that we had a really good day. I tried to remember to breathe and ask the Lord to help me find peace. I wanted to take that feeling I get when I read my bible and take it through my whole day.

I nursed Lyra when she was only in a diaper and it reminded me of the days were we used to do skin to skin all the time. I love skin to skin and it truly brings me so much peace. To be able to snuggle my new babies is like a fresh of air.

Also later that day I got to hold Lucy, swayed, and sang to her. It reminded me how tiny she used to be, and how I miss those moments. I forever want to soak in those moments and remember these special days.

Saturday:

Holy cow what a day! I woke up at 7 awith both girls and it was cold but I did not think much of it. I am often cold and love the house to sit at 75 degrees, Bryton does not agree so it normally sits at 68. Which to me is freezing. Anyway flashforward 30 minutes my dad asked me if we had any power. I looked at the stove and realized we did not have any! It had snowed about 6 inches. Branches were down all over and the trees were buckling under the weight. It is the end of May, it is just crazy that it snowed and snowed this much!

I went and woke Bryton up to figure out what we were going to do with the girls, I did not want them in a house with no heater. So we took them to our friends house who did have power. We stayed there for a while and decided to go back home to see if the power turned back on. It had not, but Lucy was insisting she take a nap in her own bed. It was only about 65 degrees in the house so not terrible. We added an extra blanket to both girls and let them take a nap.

When the girls woke up from the nap we went back to our friends house with plans to stay the night. Bryton went back to the house just in case the power did come back on. The girls and I ate dinner with our friends and watched the movie Luca. Around 6:45 Bryton called to tell me the power was back on, so he came and got the girls and I. I was so happy that the Lord blessed us and we got our power back on.

Despite having some issues it was a very serene day. I enjoyed our time and the curve balls God sent us.

Sunday:

Lyra again got up often. We were up at 1 am then from 3 am to around 5 then at 5:30, 6, 6:45, and then we were up for the day at 7. I sat on our couch and nursed her for a while. She tried to rip my breast off so I had to unlatch her. She was quite angry at me but I did not want to be ripped apart while nursing. Lucy woke up about 30 minutes later and so did Bryton.

Bryton made both the girls an egg, while I tried to pump a clogged duct out. I was having a lot of discomfort with my right breast and I knew it was a clogged duct. I have tried all day to get it lose and I can not quite get it all. I nursed often, pumped, and massaged with a warm compress.

At around 10 I got the girls and myself ready to go to church, Bryton needed to run errands so he did not attended with us today. Lyra was crazy at church and screamed until I left the sacrament meeting to go to the foyer for the rest of the meeting.

Once we got home both girls promptly decided they needed to conspire and scream. I could not get either kid to sleep, but it was okay. We listened to christian music and read together.

Later Nana made chicken enchiliads, my dad, and Bryton’s grandpa came by to eat Sunday dinner with us. It was a lot of fun, but Lucy was not very happy that we wanted her to eat her dinner. She moped around the house for a while but then decided she needed PePe (grandpa in french). They cuddled for a long time and it was very sweet. All and all it was a wonderful week with wonderful lessons.

I hope your week was full of serenity and peace! Remember the Lord is with you and that it will be alright. See you next week! The world I am using is JOY!